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Top 10 things the 401 pixel-board signs should say but don't

Wheels writer Jim Kenzie has some ideas for pixel-board messages that could be flashed at obnoxious motorists taking up space on Highway 401.
Jim Kenzie
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Wheels writer Jim Kenzie has some ideas for pixel-board messages that could be flashed at obnoxious motorists taking up space on Highway 401.

1. Hey you! Why aren’t you in the driving lane? MOVE OVER – RIGHT NOW!

2. It’s night-time/rainy/foggy (pick one) – TURN YOUR FRIGGIN’ HEADLIGHTS ON!

3. Hey Tailgater! Can’t you see there are cars in front of the guy ahead of you too?

4. Hey Shoulder Runner! We’re ALL in a hurry. Stop being such a jerk.

5. Hey Line Crasher! You wouldn’t do that in a movie lineup so why do it here?

6. Yes, it DID snow last night. Lose your scraper? Pull over; I’ll lend you mine.

7. Nice to see you got a horn for Christmas. Go practice it somewhere else. Like your garage.

8. Sir? Uh, SIR? Your turn signal? It’s been on now for 20 kilometres.

9. Hello? This is your dog talking. June bugs at 100 km/h really hurt. Please close my window.

10. Carrying mattresses on a car roof is a really stupid idea, bub.

I’m sure you have some suggestions, too. Please send them to me at jimkenzie@gmail.com.

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