Old-school comfort, Homer Simpson styling

TORONTO STAR FILE PHOTO

The Ford Five Hundred was launched in 2005 to replace the Taurus but was far from a sales blockbuster.

Mark Toljagic

SPECIAL TO THE STAR

While addressing a business audience last year, Ford CEO Alan Mulally and product development chief Derrick Kuzak couldn't resist associating Ford's Five Hundred with cartoon doughnut-worshipper Homer Simpson.

Kuzak compared the rotund "Homer Simpson design" Five Hundred to the all-new 2010 Taurus that debuted last summer, denigrating the older model. His candour was refreshing, but it did nothing to salvage sales of the Five Hundred (briefly rebadged Taurus), Ford's largely unknown family car.

Launched in 2005 as the successor to the original Taurus, its instantly forgettable styling was a far cry from the sensation the Taurus had caused two decades earlier as it eventually became America's favourite car.

By contrast, the Five Hundred mustered only a small fraction of the sales of the Toyota Camry, which is perennially America's top-selling automobile these days (although the Honda Civic prevails in Canada).

CONFIGURATION

To build its Taurus replacement, Ford marshalled its worldwide resources and chose Volvo's P2 platform, the same one underpinning the S60, S80, XC70 and XC90 models.

Evoking the 1960's Fairlane and Galaxie 500 models in name only, the Five Hundred was a thoroughly modern front-drive sedan (we'll examine the Freestyle wagon another day), complete with a transverse-engine layout riding on struts up front and a multilink rear suspension.

Ford wanted a big car. The Five Hundred was eight cm longer, 11 cm taller and four cm wider than the old Taurus. It cast a bigger shadow than the kissing cousin Volvo S80 and Chrysler's well-received 300.

The interior was spacious, easily accommodating those over six feet in the front buckets or generous rear seat. The vista was almost minivan-tall.

"Maybe I'm getting old (55), but I do like the upright driving position," read an owner's post.

The trunk was vast with 595 litres of storage – room enough to keep a hit man in business. Other professionals could carry eight golf bags.

The P2 platform brought with it the electronically controlled Haldex all-wheel-drive system found under various Volvos. A first for a Ford sedan, it was optional on any trim level.

Ford rummaged through its own parts bin and selected its Duratec DOHC 3.0 L V6 as the lone engine. It benefitted from reduced LEV II emissions and an electronic throttle, good for 203 hp and 207 lb.-ft. of torque.

Maybe to compensate for the meagre engine choice, Ford offered two automatic transmissions. Front-drive SEL and Limited models got a six-speed autobox built by Toyota supplier Aisin.

Base models and all AWD Five Hundreds used a continuously variable transmission (CVT) designed by German maker ZF and assembled in Ford's Batavia, Ohio plant.

For durability, Ford's CVT employed a Luk chain (an Audi supplier) instead of a belt. Among other advantages, a CVT can wring the most power from a middling engine and provide better fuel economy compared to a conventional slushbox.

Antilock four-wheel disc brakes and traction control were standard, but no antiskid system was available.

The 2008-09 models were hastily renamed Taurus to trade on the old car's legacy. They got freshened styling and more power in the form of a 263-hp 3.5 L V6, replacing the smaller six. The CVT was dropped, likely due to the greater torque output of the larger engine, and a new Ford-supplied six-speed autobox became the only tranny offered.

ON THE ROAD

Aside from somewhat lifeless rack-and-pinion steering, the Five Hundred's road manners were hard to fault and its comfort quotient was high.

Zero-to-96 km/h came up in 7.9 seconds. While not exactly tortoise slow, it paled in comparison to such competitors as the Chrysler 300 and Toyota Avalon. The energized 3.5 L "Taurus" could do it in 6.8 seconds.

If the Five Hundred was underpowered, it compensated for it by returning especially good fuel economy for such a large sedan, drivers noted.

WHAT OWNERS REPORTED

Old-school big and comfy, the Chicago-built Five Hundred has been a reliable conveyance for the most part, say owners.

The single most common complaint had to do with short-lived brakes, which required frequent attention.

"Brakes machined three times under warranty after I fought and threatened legal action. Front and back rotors replaced under warranty, too. It seems every 5,000 km I have brake issues," wrote an unhappy driver.

Some noticed the steering might squeak, requiring steering boot lubrication and power steering fluid replacement. Defective upper strut bushings were also fingered.

Beyond that, there were a few gripes about malfunctioning power windows, flawed paint, slipping transmissions, bad CD players and dashboards that blistered in the sun.

All in all, the Five Hundred is an amalgam of international parts that work quite well together – despite its Homer-esque profile.

We would like to know about your ownership experience with these models: Toyota Tacoma, Volvo XC90 and Dodge Magnum. Email toljagic@ca.inter.net.

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