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Licence plate, thy name is vanity

Published August 8, 2012

I’ve often thought that sticking photos of ourselves along with our phone numbers on our cars would make us all better drivers.

Eliminate the anonymity, and maybe we’d behave better.

Some people actually do this – sort of – by putting vanity plates on their cars.

OK, sometimes the “message” is so obscure, nobody can figure it out.

I wonder if maybe some people pay the two hundred and fifty-plus bucks then come up with some random combination of letters and digits just to drive the rest of us crazy trying to figure out what they mean.

My favourite, personally seen on a Jaguar XJ-S in Toronto some years ago and subsequently in one of those mass e-mails on a Porsche, is “WAS HIS”.

No missing THAT message.

Back to my original point: IF you have a vanity plate that identifies you, shouldn’t you be aware that anyone might be able to figure out who you are?

Which means, you shouldn’t drive like a jerk?

Like the guy driving south on Yonge Street in Thornhill yesterday around 5:30 p.m. in a black Audi A5, who was tailgating me and everyone else, weaving in and out, accelerating hard into brake lights with what appeared to be his last name out there for everybody to see.

Star policy prevents me from telling you what name was on the plate – it should have read “IMAJERK” – and I doubt anybody who drives this badly would even be reading this blog.

But maybe one of his better-mannered acquaintances might recognize the description of the car and the personality of its driver – someone who drives this aggressively when traffic is so heavy there really is nothing to be gained – and let him know:

WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE…

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