Nice to nifty to no way, José!

Jil McIntosh

SPECIAL TO THE STAR

Las Vegas–If you've ever put anything on, in or near your car, chances are good it's been shown at the annual SEMA extravaganza.

This over-the-top trade show features some 10,000 companies offering their wares to buyers from around the world.

(SEMA is short for the Specialty Equipment Market Association.)

You can quickly spot the rookies: they're the ones who didn't think to wear comfortable shoes.

The show covers everything from wheels, tires and audio to hot rods and performance parts.

The major automakers commission custom-car builders to produce showpieces for their displays – Chip Foose and Funkmaster Flex worked their magic on Oakville-built Ford Flex crossovers.

Magazine-cover vehicles are mere advertisements for the companies that made their window rubbers or spark plugs.

More than 2,000 new products debut at the show each year, with varying success. But one that won top awards in 2004 and 2005 is still around: Spiderlite, an LED taillight bulb made by Ron Liao and Antonio Tasson in Mississauga.

At this year's recent four-day bash, they featured a package written in Japanese.

"People ask if we have the distribution rights in Canada from Japan," Liao says.

"I tell them no, Japan got the rights from us. That's our biggest market now, and every one we sell there is made by us in Mississauga."

Many new products shown this time around deserve a spot in the market, including these:

REACH E-Z: Invented by a man whose wife couldn't reach groceries under her pickup truck's tonneau.

This extendable pole hooks onto items and pulls them out. It clips to the box side for storage and can be optioned with a brush for sweeping out the truck.

Why you need this: Short people drive pickups, too.

THE EXTENDER: Lightweight tool extenders that fit over wrenches, ratchets and Allen keys to provide extra leverage for tight bolts, with two short arms that prevent slipping.

Why you need this: In a demonstration, I was able to increase my bolt-loosening power from 11 to 33 lb.-ft. of torque.

SWIFT HITCH: This consists of a magnetic camera mounted on the back of your vehicle and a wireless receiver with colour screen so you can line up your trailer hitch by yourself.

Why you need this: Because "Left. No, right. No, sorry, left – now back – too far" is never good for a marriage.

TANGO: I first saw this two-seater electric car in a catalogue and put it on my Christmas list, to no avail, no doubt due to its $108,000 (U.S.) starting price.

One was at SEMA (George Clooney owns the only other one).

Tango is less than a metre wide, recharges on household current and will do 0 to 96 km/h in four seconds. Its inventor says it's as stable as a Porsche 911 in corners, thanks to 907 kg of batteries under the floor.

Why you need this: Fast is fun, and no gasoline guilt.

MOBILEYE: Made by a company that supplies GM, BMW and Volvo with electronic warning systems, this unit warns when you tailgate, drift out of your lane or brake late.

It also records the data for downloading, including the speeds reached, or can transmit the information in real time when someone else is driving your vehicle.

Why you need this: Your teenage drivers should live to adulthood.

And on the other hand, there were these:

LAPTOP HOLDERS: The show offered far too many devices to attach phones, BlackBerrys and iPods to the dash.

I noticed the Jotto Desk, which holds a laptop for the driver's use (I'm sure everyone will wait until they're parked, as the instructions suggest).

For the backseat, there's CradleVue, a sling that holds an open laptop between the front seats, to be used like a rear-seat DVD player.

Why you don't need this: Drivers on cellphones are bad enough, without front-seat computers. A five kg, sharp-edged weight hanging in mid-air should do wonders for crash safety.

HORNTONES: The idea of a horn that plays MP3 clips came to its inventor when a group of teenagers heckled him about the Incredible Hulk airbrushed on his Hummer H1.

He longed to be able to push a button to make it growl at them.

Why you don't need this: You just don't.

GRAFFIX LED WHEELS: Shown as a concept but expected for sale next year, these wheels have a consistently upright liquid-crystal screen that plays videos, even when you're driving.

Why you don't need this: There's a reason your TV doesn't move.

PARTY BLENDER: Use motorcycle handlebars to operate this gasoline-powered blender, which makes more than two litres of drinks at a time.

Why you don't need this: Margaritas should not involve two-stroke oil.

HITCH CRITTERS: These plastic creatures fit on your trailer ball, plug into the harness and go into action when you hit the brakes.

The fish flops, the hog pulls wheelies on a bike, the horse holds up a "Whoa!" sign and the deer throws its arms up in surrender as a target flashes on its chest.

Why you don't need this: Please tell me I don't have to explain it to you.

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