Subdued Detroit show lacks lustre of the past

Nika Rolczewski

Optimistic, pessimistic, the difference is droll,

The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole

– Oscar Wilde

Oh, woe is me. There is not a bonbon in sight.

My growling stomach is asking for sustenance that I can't find.

I'm not at a Weight Watchers' meeting. I'm at the North American International Auto Show.

Last year, I wrote about the tough slogging us journalists had at the show, what with the Kobe beef dinners and the abundance of imbibing.

I never thought the manufacturers would agree that the cars should be the focus, not the journalistic gravy train.

"Peel away the hoopla," I said. They listened.

I can live with the general lack of feed at this year's media days. NAIAS is about automotive, not gastronomic, delights. My problem is, I've grown accustomed to schmoozing at the smorgasbord.

I had boasted to my partner Michael, a first-timer at the show, that the bash rivals a Ringling Brothers circus.

After hearing about the $200 million (U.S.) that auto manufacturers spend on high-tech displays, not including the cars, he was ready to see the crown jewel of the continent's auto show circuit.

I'd talked about the dancers that descend from the ceiling as cars appear through smoke and mirrors, all in the name of marketing. I recalled the celebrities strolling the show floor.

There were the necessary pit stops for a boost – at the bar cart or cappuccino machine – before the next event. It was a feeding frenzy for lunch as well as press kits.

But not this time.

Michael's first impression is that while the Detroit gathering bills itself as the world's premier show, it is 150,000 square feet smaller than the Canadian International AutoShow, which rolls next month at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre and Rogers Centre.

At 700,000 square feet, the Motor City's riverside Cobo Center is still large enough for our feet to hurt by noon.

While I take notes, Michael amuses himself by "driving" the show's many simulators. These "stimulators" become addictive: he races a Subaru rally car, a NASCAR stocker and a Mini that left you green as it spun around.

I feel a trifle subdued: maybe the lack of a new Ferrari gets me down. Michael, a devotee of the prancing horse marque, consoles me, not even glancing at the models draped over the Italian machinery. Well, not noticeably.

We agree that most of the concepts unveiled lack the lustre of past creations. The Dodge Tomahawk motorcycle, shown three years ago, made jaws drop.

A convertible Camaro concept unwrapped this time out is just last year's excitement gone topless. Hollywood "stars" like Christian Slater can't make me love a concept car that I swear I've seen before.

Déjà vu sets in – this chrome reminds me of something. We yearn for a vehicle to knock our socks off.

Creativity is replaced with higher security in and around the show. Of the NAIAS workforce I encounter, only the dog sniffing for explosives is excited about his job.

As we pass the Aston Martin booth, I see two cars parked in front of a vast mural depicting a northern landscape. The booth is empty of human life, so our questions go unanswered.

Green vehicles, hybrids and environment are the buzz words this time, but overuse turns them to a drone. And anyway, an electric car is still not perfect when we also need to conserve hydro.

We move from one presentation to another, like cattle.

There are nearly 7,000 journalists from more than 60 countries here to view the 45 or so unveilings and the 700-plus vehicles on display.

The auto executives I see go through the motions with no elation in their voice. Are the ghosts of unhappy shareholders or laid-off employees casting a spell?

Higher gas prices, intense competition and an ongoing war have left their mark here.

It's the 100th anniversary of the Detroit car show and we were hungry for some excitement. Motown, you disappointed us.

wheels@thestar.ca;

racernika@rogers.com

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