GR8 PL8? UR 2L8 4 VNTY PL8

Oct 03, 2009

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Special to the Star

As of last Dec. 31, 514,825 people had vanity licence plates in Ontario. More than half a million tags, accumulated since they became an option 25 years ago.

I remember it. My younger sister and I raced to the licence bureau to secure a custom plate for our third sister, and we knew we'd have to act fast. Sure enough, the look on her face when she unwrapped ROZ at Christmas that year was worth it. My father's reaction at seeing "Yours to Discover" underneath was worth it, too.

Originally available in up to six characters, they soon increased that to seven as options ran out. That went to eight characters this year, and if the plates I see on the roads are any indication, this well has truly run dry.

It's too bad we can't do what they do in dozens of countries: sell the plates as a commodity. When a member of the band Oasis left the group several years back, there was lots of talk about how much he'd get for his U.K. plate S1 SAO (think rear-view mirror), should he sell it.

In Ontario, if someone has OASIS, you can't even register OA515 – too confusing – so yet another option is off the table.

In most places, if you have a great plate you no longer want, you can sell it. Some go for outrageous amounts; think how much a proud Rolls-Royce owner would pay to have RR 1 on his tail.

Instead, in Ontario we are relegated to thinking up bizarre combinations of letters and numbers that often leave viewers wondering if you're more crazy than clever.

Consider this fictional thought: 25 years ago, Bob Loblaw's grandchildren get him the plate BOB for his birthday. Tickled, he drives it around until he dies. Bob's wife has her own plate, BETTY, so doesn't need BOB any more, though it could be transferred to her.

But in Ontario, some other Bob can't have the plate. Betty can't sell it to another Bob. She can't give it to another Bob. She can't even return it to the licence bureau and let them sell it to another Bob. We may advocate catch and release for our fishermen, but not for our drivers.

Think of all the money the government could haul in at $300 a pop by reselling BOB, et al. Think of all the misspelled versions of BOB we could be spared (BOOB, BOB94, BBOBB or 4 R BOB, like it's a tag on a present).

Huddled in garages gathering dust, vanity plates from another era are quietly rusting away. Maybe the lucky soul who landed JAGUAR now drives a Jetta. Maybe she'd have no problem with the legal tag going to a new owner; she'd still get to keep her metal souvenir.

There is a division in the licensing bureau devoted to making sure nothing naughty gets by. Think of how sick some of the proposed plates must be. But if people had more options – if there was a pool of plates constantly being thrown back into play, people would have a better shot at getting what they'd really like, and it would net more for the government.

People change. Who wants to hear a grandchild ask why grandma has 4NIK8 on her car? Maybe FREENEZ made sense at one point, but by the time you're putting in kids' car seats, its time has passed.

I noticed a Kijiji ad online offering vanity plates for sale. I called and told the would-be vendor they couldn't be transferred.

"I guess that explains why nobody but you has called," she said.

Bidding war, anyone?

Lorraine Sommerfeld's column appears Thursdays at Wheels.ca. lorraineonline.ca

Toronto Star