Tale of two speeders

May 07, 2009

Comments on this story (20)

Special to the Star

Let me relate two tales that were recently told to me. These are true stories about real people.

Recent conversation No. 1:

A 79-year-old man is cruising down the local rural highway half an hour south of Hamilton. While the posted 80 km/h is indeed the legal pace as laid out by the ministry of transportation, denizens of this bucolic, sparsely populated area treat it as more of an extension of their own driveways, rightly or wrongly. Many were here before the paved roads, and certainly before the laws.

As Oldtimer approaches the more populated area on this journey, the posted limit drops to 50 km/h. These areas exist everywhere; they are ripe for the plucking of two types of speeders: those who have no intent of lowering their speed and those who do so belatedly. They're known as fishing holes, to denote the relative ease with which one can land a big one.

With a blip and red flash of light from a cruiser, our speedster knows he is caught. Oldtimer then is informed he is not just speeding; he is, in fact, street racing.

He is 50 km/h over the posted limit, which will cost him his car. Right now. For a week. And a hefty fine come judge time.

Who was he racing? As far as Oldtimer knows, only the bank's closing time. He has workers to pay and was expected back at his farm within the hour. It's a long walk; they're probably still waiting. His illegal high-speed scoot to the bank has been judged at roadside. The law can be a harsh mistress but she is the law, and her appointed representative has bestowed her word on our Oldtimer's misdeed.

Recent conversation No. 2:

A 22-year-old woman is hightailing it home on the lovely expanse of a near-empty Highway 407. She knows the toll entitles her only to use of the road and not abuse of the posted speed limit, but with no cars around to do some comparison shopping on the flow of traffic, she is free to set her own time.

It's apparently a little too quick. From ahead of her, a police cruiser zaps her with a rear-set radar gun and pulls her over. At 22, she's not quite as composed as our Oldtimer, who had thought he'd seen it all.

Tears are produced with driver's licence and registration. She is surprised to learn her aging car was even capable of giving the street-racing law a run for its money.

The officer reads the numbers, however, and dutifully informs her she was indeed clocking 154 km/h. Her father will later grow wide-eyed at the unlikelihood of this particular car reaching this particular speed.

But this car was driven home by the crying young woman. Somewhat to the relief of her father (as a parent, he long ago learned all disappointments are relative), the ticket she hands to him has a large "R" circled near the top.

The wonderful officer has reduced the speed to 149 km/h. Awwwww. How kind – and convenient – is that?

Apparently Mistress Law does have some latitude. But apparently it is dispensed in some kind of secret code that is predicated on circumstance, mood and what the officer in question had for breakfast.

Lorraine Sommerfeld appears Saturdays in Wheels and Mondays in Living.

www.lorraineonline.ca

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