What's so wrong about naming cars after kids?

Lorraine Sommerfeld

SPECIAL TO THE STAR

What's in a name?

Hundreds of angry parents, if you live in France. The uproar comes on the heels of Renault's recent announcement that they will be naming their new electric car Zoë. With two little dots over the "e."

Because that's the most popular name for newborn girls in France, parents are up in arms that their wee daughters will bear a name sullied by something as unromantic as a vehicle. I think they should be more concerned that their daughters will forever be known as Zoë R. or Zoë B. for the rest of their lives.

Leave it to the French to get this backwards. North Americans have eagerly awaited the arrival of each new vehicle – especially trucks, it seems – before naming their kids. By the time my boys hit kindergarten, I was blown away by all the Dakotas and Sierras and Shelbys. I remember meeting my first little Porsche. And being suitably corrected that William Shakespeare had nothing to do with her name.

I have now read of the christening of more then one Lexus. I remember one poor lad burdened with the moniker Avalon; unless he grows up to model for the covers of romance novels, preferably ones where he is ripping the bodice of a buxom beauty, I'm not sure just how he's going to handle that name.

Mercedes are practically a dime a dozen these days, though surprisingly enough, the original car was named after a little girl, rather than the other way around. I've read Camry is steadily gaining popularity as a boy's name – which I guess is fine if you want your kid forever associated with reliability, common sense and a high resale value.

A little girl was recently born in her parents' minivan in England. So of course they named her Kia. Which makes me want to go back and have a further chat with a woman I once knew who had a friend named Cortina.

"Our daughters have a beautiful first name that must not be associated with a car, so let us unite to bring pressure on a multinational which is going to destroy this pretty name for our children," says Sébastien Mortreux, father-of-a-Zoë in Auby, France. "It is a scandal that they are able to use common first names for products."

This guy been living under a rock?

I'm not sure why the French parents are getting so angered. Thousands of products have shared names with women for years. How many baby Ruths saw their name on a chocolate bar (I know, wrong Ruth)? Madison is an avenue; Heather is a plant; Lilly is a flower, and don't get me started on the whole Paris-China-Sydney thing.

Zoë is Greek for life; it seems kind of fitting that Renault was drawn to naming their first small electric car, upon which rest many of the company's hopes, after something that resonates with history and meaning. That's what car companies pay a lot of money to have branding companies think up for them. That's why there is no Ford Bob.

To think you "own" a name because you select it for your kid is ludicrous. And to think you even get an opinion when you've named your daughter the most popular name in the book is even battier. People get inspiration for names all over; so do car manufacturers.

I suppose I should just be grateful my name isn't Matador Wagon.

Lorraine Sommerfeld's column appears Saturdays in Wheels and Mondays in the Star's Living section.

www.lorraineonline.ca

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