Good manners go far in nightmare traffic

Jul 16, 2009

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Special to the Star

As my colleagues will surely attest, there is a common theme auto writers hear over and over. No, it's not "what a fabulous column last week!" or even "is the XYZ as good as they say?"

No, it's this: "Last week, you should see what some idiot did. You should write about it."

Said transgression is then rolled out in all its remarkably inane glory, and usually ends with a general sputtering that drivers are such idiots. Not the one standing before you, of course, but everyone else.

Adding up the teeth-gnashing escapades of the many, however, means we overlook the angelic qualities of the few.

I mean that: there are some who are very kind, very thoughtful and very much in the minority, it would seem. With the Season of Traffic well and truly upon us, it might be a good time to dust off the manners, and tell the rage to pull up a chair.

What do pleasant people do? Well, if possible, they get off the road during the witching hours. If they can leave earlier or later, they do.

My father used to get us up at 4 a.m. to drive to the cottage. My sisters and I would actually wake up there – we'd be in a coma until we pulled in the drive. Had my mother still been talking to my father at that point, I'm sure she would have still been swearing. But we were never, ever stuck on Hwy. 69, trying to pass three tractor-trailers on a blind bend in the two-lane road.

Pleasant people recognize construction is Not My Fault. When approaching the inevitable funnel (that I swear, if viewed from above, must look like a toddler has demonically dumped out his toy box and stomped on the cars), they also recognize that every single car needs to get through that spot. It's going to happen, folks, with or without your stamp of approval.

In the Maritimes last summer, we encountered a ton of roadwork. And while we've all glared at a dozen construction workers staring into a hole, motionless, the fact is that it's a hot, hot job. We got in the habit of handing out water bottles to flag people. We had some of the best conversations of our trip parked beside people as we waited for them to twist their sign. Humanize the situation.

If you live in a destination place, you're going to trip over tourists. Small communities feed off this season like a hungry bear just before hibernation. If the whackadoodle guy with the Southern accent and purple Crocs is debating over an "I Love Rosseau" T-shirt, pleasant people let him. And yeah, that's his car parked with the butt sticking out on the main street. Go around.

The easiest cure for angry drivers and stressful situations is also the most simple: the thank-you wave. If someone lets you in, wave thank you. If someone held a door for you, you'd thank them. And while you should never wave anyone across lanes of traffic, indicating you are letting them in is kind and effortless. You deserve acknowledgement; if you were raised right, it would be automatic. And if you never let anyone in, you're an angry crankypants and shouldn't be allowed on the road.

I'm not thrilled with construction and I hate plugged highways, but good manners can ease the ire.

Go ahead: make my day.

Lorraine Sommerfeld's column appears Saturday in Wheels. www.lorraineonline.ca

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